God Vs Man

A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. 

All of a sudden he said out loud, "Lord grant me one wish." 

Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord said, "Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish".

The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii, so I can drive over anytime I want to." 

The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. 

Think of the logistics of that kind of undertaking. 

The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. 

Take a little more time and think of another wish, a wish you think would honor and glorify me."

The man thought about it for a long time. 

Finally he said, "Lord, I have been married and divorced four times. 

All of my wives said that I am uncaring and insensitive. 

I wish that I could understand women. 

I want to know how they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say "nothing" and how I can make a woman truly happy"

After a few minutes God said, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"

Weakness or Strength?

Sometimes our biggest weakness can become our biggest strength. Take, for example, the story of one 10-year-old boy who decided to study Judo despite the fact that he had lost his left arm in a devastating car accident.The boy began lessons with an old Japanese Judo master. The boy was doing well, so he couldn’t understand why, after three months of training the master had taught him only one move.“Sensei,” the boy finally said, “Shouldn’t I be learning more moves?”

“This is the only move you know, but this is the only move you’ll ever need to know.” – the sensei replied.

Not quite understanding, but believing in his teacher, the boy kept training.

Several months later, the sensei took the boy to his first tournament. Surprising himself, the boy easily won his first two matches. The third match proved to be more difficult, but after some time, his opponent became impatient and charged; the boy deftly used his one move to win the match. Still amazed by his success, the boy was now in the finals.

This time, his opponent was bigger, stronger, and more experienced. For a while, the boy appeared to be overmatched. Concerned that the boy might get hurt, the referee called a time-out. He was about to stop the match when the sensei intervened.

“No,” the sensei insisted, “Let him continue.”

Soon after the match resumed, his opponent made a critical mistake: he dropped his guard. Instantly, the boy used his move to pin him. The boy had won the match and the tournament. He was the champion.

On the way home, the boy and sensei reviewed every move in each and every match. Then the boy summoned the courage to ask what was really on his mind.

“Sensei, how did I win the tournament with only one move?”

“You won for two reasons,” the sensei answered. “First, you’ve almost mastered one of the most difficult throws in all of judo. And second, the only known defense for that move is for your opponent to grap your left arm.”

The boy’s biggest weakness had become his biggest strength.

WATER Melon.. lolzzz

Smith and his friend raped a princess. When they were caught and taken to the king for punishment.

The king ordered them to go and get as many fruits as they can to bail themselves.

Smith's friend went and returned with 15 Mangoes, the king ordered the guards to insert the Mango into his ass so that he will feel the same pain as the raped Princess.

The guy screamed and shouted throughout the insertion.

Suddenly, he began to laugh out loud, the guard asked him why he was laughing in pain.

He pointed ahead and said

.

.

.

“Look at my friend (Smith), he is bringing WATER Melon's.” lolzzz

Water melon time . Just enjoy

something

Top 10 Artists / Painters of all time

A selection of the greatest top 10 artists of all time.

1. Leonardo Da Vinci (1452–1519) Renaissance painter, scientist, inventor, and more. Da Vinci is one of most famous painters in the world for his iconic Mona Lisa and Last Supper.

2. Vincent Van Gogh (1853–1890). Dutch post-impressionist painter. Famous paintings include: Sunflowers, The Starry night, and Cafe Terrace at Night.

3. Rembrandt (1606–1669) Dutch Master. One of the greatest painters, admired for his vivid realism. Famous paintings include The Jewish Bride and The Storm of the Sea of Galilee.

4. Michelangelo (1475–1564) Renaissance sculptor, painter and architect. Famous paintings include his epic ceiling mural on the Sistine Chapel.

5. Claude Monet (1840–1926) French impressionist painter. Famous paintings include Waterlilies, Women in Garden, and Impression Sunrise.

6. Pablo Picasso (1881–1973) Spanish, modern ‘cubist’ painter. Famous works include Guernica and Bird of Peace.

7. Raphael (1483–1520) Italian painter. Raphael, da Vinci and Michalengelo make up the high Renaissance trinity. Famous paintings include Mond Crucifixion and The Wedding of the Virgin.

8. August Renoir (1841–1919) French painter, one of the early pioneers of impressionism. Also influenced by Italian renaissance. Famous works include Dance at Le Moulin de la Galette and On the Terrace.

9. Jan Vermeer (1632–1675) Dutch painter who specialised in genre painting – vivid depictions of still life. Famous paintings include View of Delft, Girl With a Pearl Earring, and The Milkmaid.

10. Paul Cezanne (1839–1906) French post-impressionist painter. Famous paintings include, The Card Players and Still Life with a Curtain.

Some thing

List of Top 100 Famous People

A list of famous people, chosen mainly from the nineteenth, twentieth or twenty-first centuries. This list includes famous actors, politicians, entrepreneurs, writers, artists and humanitarians.

1. Marilyn Monroe (1926 – 1962) American actress, singer, model
2. Abraham Lincoln (1809 – 1865) US President during American civil war
3. Mother Teresa (1910 – 1997) Macedonian Catholic missionary nun
4. John F. Kennedy (1917 – 1963) US President 1961 – 1963
5. Martin Luther King (1929 – 1968)  American civil rights campaigner
6. Nelson Mandela (1918 – 2013)  South African President anti-apartheid campaigner
7. Winston Churchill (1874 – 1965) British Prime Minister during WWII
8. Bill Gates (1955 – ) American businessman, founder of Microsoft
9. Muhammad Ali (1942 – 2016) American Boxer and civil rights campaigner
10. Mahatma Gandhi (1869 – 1948) Leader of Indian independence movement
11. Margaret Thatcher (1925 – 2013) British Prime Minister 1979 – 1990
12. Charles de Gaulle (1890 – 1970) French resistance leader and President 1959 – 1969
13. Christopher Columbus (1451 – 1506) Italian explorer
14. George Orwell (1903 – 1950) British author
15. Charles Darwin (1809 – 1882) British scientist, theory of evolution
16. Elvis Presley (1935 – 1977) American musician
17. Albert Einstein (1879 – 1955) German scientist, theory of relativity
18. Paul McCartney (1942 – ) British musician, member of Beatles
19. Plato (423 BC – 348 BC) Greek philosopher
20. Queen Elizabeth II (1926 – ) British monarch since 1954
21. Queen Victoria ( 1819 – 1901) British monarch 1837 – 1901
22. John M Keynes (1883 – 1946) British economist
23. Mikhail Gorbachev (1931 – ) Leader of Soviet Union 1985 – 1991
24. Jawaharlal Nehru (1889 – 1964) Indian Prime Minister 1947 – 1964
25. Leonardo da Vinci (1452 – 1519) Italian, painter, scientist, polymath
26. Louis Pasteur (1822 – 1895) French chemist and microbiologist
27. Leo Tolstoy (1828 – 1910) Russian author and philosopher
28. Pablo Picasso (1881 – 1973) Spanish modern artist
29. Vincent Van Gogh (1853 – 1890) Dutch artist
30. Franklin D. Roosevelt (1882 – 1945) US President 1932 – 1945
31. Pope John Paul II (1920 – 2005) Polish Pope
32. Thomas Edison ( 1847 – 1931) American inventor
33. Rosa Parks (1913 – 2005)  American civil rights activist
34. Aung San Suu Kyi (1945 – ) Burmese opposition leader
35. Lyndon Johnson (1908 – 1973) US President 1963 – 1969
36. Ludwig Beethoven (1770 – 1827) German composer
37. Oprah Winfrey (1954 – ) American TV presenter, actress, entrepreneur
38. Indira Gandhi (1917 – 1984) Prime Minister of India 1966 – 1977
39. Eva Peron (1919 – 1952) First Lady of Argentina 1946 – 1952
40. Benazir Bhutto (1953 – 2007) Prime Minister of Pakistan 1993 – 1996
41. Desmond Tutu (1931 – ) South African Bishop and opponent of apartheid
42. Dalai Lama (1938 – ) Spiritual and political leader of Tibetans
43. Walt Disney (1901 – 1966) American film producer
44. Neil Armstrong (1930 – 2012) US astronaut
45. Donald Trump (1946 – ) Businessman, politician
46. Peter Sellers (1925 – 1980) British actor and comedian
47. Barack Obama (1961 – ) US President 2008 – 2016
48. Malcolm X (1925 – 1965) American Black nationalist leader
49. J.K.Rowling (1965 – ) British author
50. Richard Branson (1950 – ) British entrepreneur
51. Pele (1940 – ) Brazilian footballer, considered greatest of 20th century.
52. Angelina Jolie (1975 – ) Actress, director, humanitarian
53. Jesse Owens (1913 – 1980) US track athlete, 1936 Olympics
54. Ernest Hemingway (1899 – 1961) American author
55. John Lennon (1940 – 1980) British musician, member of the Beatles
56. Henry Ford (1863 – 1947) US Industrialist
57. Haile Selassie (1892 – 1975) Emperor of Ethiopia 1930 – 1974
58. Joseph Stalin (1879 – 1953) Leader of Soviet Union 1924 – 1953
59. Lord Baden Powell (1857 – 1941) British Founder of scout movement
60. Michael Jordon (1963 – ) US Basketball star
61. George Bush Jnr (1946 – ) US President 2000-2008
62. Vladimir Lenin (1870 – 1924) Leader of Russian Revolution 1917
63. Ingrid Bergman (1915 – 1982) Swedish actress
64. Fidel Castro (1926 – ) President of Cuba 1976 – 2008
65. Oscar Wilde (1854 – 1900) Irish author, poet, playwright
66. Coco Chanel (1883 – 1971) French fashion designer
67. Pope Francis (1936 – ) First pope from the Americas
68. Amelia Earhart (1897 – 1937) Aviator
69. Adolf Hitler (1889 – 1945) leader of Nazi Germany 1933 – 1945
70. Sting (1951 – ) British musician
71. Mary Magdalene (4 BCE – 40CE) devotee of Jesus Christ
72. Alfred Hitchcock (1899 – 1980) English / American film producer, director
73. Michael Jackson (1958 – 2009) American musician
74. Madonna (1958 – ) American musician, actress, author
75. Mata Hari (1876 – 1917) Dutch exotic dancer, executed as spy
76. Cleopatra (69 – 30 BCE) Queen of Egypt
77. Grace Kelly (1929 – 1982) American actress, Princess of Monaco
78. Steve Jobs (1955 – 2012) co-founder of Apple computers
79. Ronald Reagan (1911 – 2004) US President 1981-1989
80. Lionel Messi (1987 – ) Argentinian footballer
81. Babe Ruth (1895 – 1948) American baseball player
82. Bob Geldof (1951 – ) Irish musician, charity worker
83. Leon Trotsky (1879 – 1940) Russian Marxist revolutionary
84. Roger Federer (1981 – ) Swiss Tennis player
85. Sigmund Freud (1856 – 1939) Austrian psychoanalyst
86. Woodrow Wilson (1856 – 1924) US president 1913 – 1921
87. Mao Zedong (1893 – 1976) Leader of Chinese Communist revolution
88. Katherine Hepburn (1907 – 2003) American actress
89. Audrey Hepburn (1929 – 1993) British actress and humanitarian
90. David Beckham (1975 – )  English footballer
91. Tiger Woods (1975 – ) American golfer
92. Usain Bolt (1986 – ) Jamaican athlete and Olympian
93. Carl Lewis (1961 – ) US athlete and Olympian
94. Prince Charles (1948 – )  Heir to British throne
95. Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis (1929 – 1994) American wife of JF Kennedy
96. C.S. Lewis (1898 – 1963) British author
97. Billie Holiday (1915 – 1959) American jazz singer
98. J.R.R. Tolkien (1892 – 1973) British author
99. Billie Jean King (1943 – ) American tennis player and human rights activist
100. Anne Frank (1929 – 1945) Dutch Jewish author who died in Holocaust

More famous people

1. Simon Bolivar (1783 – 1830) Venezuelan independence activist in South America.
2. Marie Antoinette (1755 – 1793) French Queen, executed during the French revolution
3. Cristiano Ronaldo (1985 – ) Portuguese footballer.
4. Emmeline Pankhurst  (1858 – 1928) English suffragette.
5. Emile Zatopek (1922 – 2000) Czech athlete
6. Lech Walesa (1943 – ) Polish leader of Solidarity movement
7. Julie Andrews (1935 – ) British singer, actress
8. Florence Nightingale (1820 – 1910) British nurse
9. Marie Curie (1867 – 1934) Polish / French scientist
10. Stephen Hawking (1942 – ) British scientist
11. Tim Berners Lee (1955 – ) English creator of World Wide Web
12. Lance Armstrong (1971 – ) American cyclist
13. Shakira (1977 – ) Colombian singer
14. Jon Stewart (1962 – ) American comedian
15. Wright Brothers  Orville (1871 – 1948) and Wilbur (1867 – 1912) American inventors, aviation pioneers
16. Roman Abramovich (1966 – ) Russian oligarch
17. Tom Cruise (1962 – ) American actor
18. Rupert Murdoch (1931 – ) Media owner of News Corporation
19. Al Gore (1948 – ) US presidential candidate and environmental campaigner
20. Sacha Baron Cohen (1971 – ) English comedian
21. George Clooney (1961 – ) American actor and political activist
22. Paul Krugman (1953 – ) American Nobel Prize winning economist
23. Jimmy Wales (1966 – ) American creator of Wikipedia
24. Brad Pitt (1963 – ) Actor
25. Kylie Minogue (1968 – ) Australian singer and actress
26. Malala Yousafzai (1997 – ) Pakistani human rights activist
27. Stephen King (1947 – ) American author

Mumbai (Bombay)	16,368,000
2	Kolkata (Calcutta)	13,217,000
3	Delhi	12,791,000
4	Chennai	6,425,000
5	Bangalore	5,687,000
6	Hyderabad	5,534,000
7	Ahmadabad	4,519,000
8	Pune	3,756,000
9	Surat	2,811,000
10	Kanpur	2,690,000
11	Jaipur	2,324,000
12	Lucknow	2,267,000
13	Nagpur	2,123,000
14	Patna	1,707,000
15	Indore	1,639,044
16	Vadodara	1,492,000
17	Bhopal	1,455,000
18	Coimbatore	1,446,000
19	Ludhiana	1,395,000
20	Kochi	1,355,000
21	Visakhapatnam	1,329,000
22	Agra	1,321,000
23	Varanasi	1,212,000
24	Madurai	1,195,000
25	Meerut	1,167,000
26	Nashik	1,152,000
27	Jabalpur	1,117,000
28	Jamshedpur	1,102,000
29	Asansol	1,090,000
30	Dhanbad	1,064,000
31	Faridabad	1,055,000
32	Allahabad	1,050,000
33	Amritsar	1,011,000
34	Vijayawada	1,011,000
35	Rajkot	1,002,000

Andhra Pradesh	Amravathi [*Hyderabad initially]	Chandrababu Naidu (TDP)
Arunachal Pradesh	Itanagar	Pema Khandu (PPA)
Assam	Dispur	Sarbananda Sonowal (BJP)
Bihar	Patna	Nitish Kumar (JDU)
Chhattisgarh	Raipur	Raman Singh (BJP)
Goa	Panaji	Laxmikant Parsekar (BJP)
Gujarat	Gandhinagar	Vijay Rupani (BJP) - [Andiben Patel resigned on Aug 1st 2016
Haryana	Chandigarh (shared with Punjab)	Manohar Lal Khatter (BJP)
Himachal Pradesh	Shimla	Virbhadra Singh (Congress)
Jammu & Kashmir	Srinagar (Summer) Jammu (Winter)	Mehbooba Mohammed Sayeed (PDP)
Jharkhand	Ranchi	Raghubar Das (BJP)
Karnataka	Bangalore	Siddaramaiah (Congress)
Kerala	Thiruvananthapuram	Pinarayi Vijayan (CPM)
Madhya Pradesh	Bhopal	Shivraj Singh Chauhan (BJP)
Maharashtra	Mumbai	Devendra Fadnavis (BJP)
Manipur	Imphal	Okram Ibobi Singh (Congress)
Meghalaya	Shillong	Mukul Sangma (Congress)
Mizoram	Aizawl	Pu Lalthanhawla (Congress)
Nagaland	Kohima	T.R. Zeliang (Nagaland People’s Front)
Odisha (Orissa)	Bhubaneshwar	Naveen Patnaik (BJD)
Punjab	Chandigarh (shared with Haryana)	Parkash Singh Badal (SAD)
Rajasthan	Jaipur	Vasundhara Raje (BJP)
Sikkim	Gangtok	Pawan Chamling (SDF)
Tamil Nadu	Chennai	O. Panneerselvam (AIADMK). Jayalalithaa Jayaram (AIADMK) passed away on Dec 05, 2016.
Telangana (from June 2, 2014)	Hyderabad	K Chandrashekhar Rao (TRS)
Tripura	Agartala	Manik Sarkar (CPM)
Uttar Pradesh	Lucknow	Akhilesh Yadav (SP)
Uttarakhand	Dehradun	Harish Rawat (Congress)
West Bengal	Kolkata	Mamata Banerjee (Trinamool Congress)

Here’s the list of all Indian Union Territories, capitals and governing bodies:

Union territory (in alphabetical order)	Capital City	Minister/ Governor – Political party (if applicable)
Andaman and Nicobar Islands	Port Blair	Central government rule
Chandigarh	Chandigarh	Mayor - Harphool Chandra Kalyan
Dadra and Nagar Haveli	Silvassa	B.S. Bhalla – IAS Officer
Daman and Diu	Daman	B.S. Bhalla – IAS Officer
Lakshadweep	Kavaratti	Farooq Khan - IPS Officer (BJP member)
Delhi – National Capital Territory	Delhi	Arvind Kejriwal (AAP)
Puducherry (Pondicherry)	Pondicherry	V. Narayanasamy (INC)

Very Very Funny.. Must Read

Little Marry was not the best student in Sunday school.

Usually she slept through the class.

One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, Marry, who created the universe?"

When Marry didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. 

"GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted Marry and the teacher said, "Very good" and Marry fell back asleep.

A while later the teacher asked Marry, "Who is our Lord and Savior," But, Marry didn't even stir from her slumber. 

Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. 

'JESUS CHRIST!" shouted Marry and the teacher said, "very good," and Marry fell back to sleep.

Then the teacher asked Marry a third question. 

"What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. 

This time Marry jumped up and shouted, 

"IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!"

The Teacher fainted.
 ****


Share This Funny Story to All Your Friends 

Very Very Funny Conversation

Girl: I'm in a big trouble!

Boy: Why is that?

Girl: I saw a mouse in my house!

Boy: Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap.

Girl: I don't have one.

Boy: Well then, buy one.

Girl: Can't afford one.

Boy: I can give you mine if you want.

Girl: That sounds good.

Boy: All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap.

Girl: I don't have any cheese.

Boy: Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap.

Girl: I don't have oil.

Boy: Well, then put only a small piece of bread.

Girl: I don't have bread.

Boy: Then what the hell is that mouse doing at your house..?? 

Revenge Like a BOSS

Last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

As our passion began to heat up she said, "I don't feel like it. I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT?! What was that?!"

She said, "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The next day I took off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big department store. 

I walked around with her as she tried on several very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to go with her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewelry counter where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. She was so excited. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet. I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

She was nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No baby, I don't feel like it."

Her face went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"

I said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

Just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either... but at least she knows I'm smarter than her.